EGGCELLENT

I love eggs. To quote Dr. Seuss, “So I will eat them in a box. And I will eat them with a fox. And I will eat them in a house. And I will them with a mouse. And I will them here and there. Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!” Scrambled, poached, fried, hard boiled…I will eat them – just not spoiled.

Many of my favorite meals (especially those I fashion from leftovers) are topped with an egg. Steak. Black bean soup. Grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Hamburger. Quesadilla. Breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner, eggs are incredibly versatile. It should come as no surprise then that pasta alla carbonara is one of my favorite dishes. It’s rich, creamy, and incorporates eggs very delicately and deliciously. Plus, it’s quick to make and can easily be pulled together with ingredients you (should) have on hand.

The following is my version of carbonara. I use cappellini instead of the usual spaghetti to cut down on cooking time and use bacon and pancetta interchangeably. Also, if you don’t have white wine on hand, I’ve found a nice lager or ale acceptable substitutions.
For vegetarians: in place of pancetta, sauté 8 ounces chopped mushrooms of your choice in 2 tablespoons olive oil until browned.

3 large eggs
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper
4 ounces pancetta, cut into ¼” cubes (or 6 slices bacon, chopped)
8 ounces cappellini pasta
3 garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup white wine

- Set 4 quarts water to boil in medium pot.

- Whisk eggs in large bowl. Whisk in ¼ teaspoon salt, ½ teaspoon pepper, and parmesan.

- Cook pancetta (or bacon) in a large skillet over medium heat until golden and some of the fat has rendered (if using bacon, transfer it to a paper towel-lined plate and reserve), 4 to 5 minutes.

-Meanwhile, add 1 tablespoon salt and cappellini to water and cook until al dente, about 3 minutes. Reserve ¼ cup pasta water and drain. Return to pot.

- Add garlic to skillet and cook, stirring, until lightly golden and fragrant, about 30 seconds. Stir in wine and remove from heat.

- Add cappellini to bowl with eggs and very quickly, using tongs or two large forks, toss to coat evenly. Stir in pancetta-wine mix (if using, stir in reserved bacon bits). If pasta looks a bit dry, add some of the reserved pasta water. Serve immediately.

SWINED AND DINED

Ever since my return from LA I’ve been thinking on the bacon-wrapped hot dog. As that ultimate of downtown delicacies doesn’t exist in my current place of residence, I would have no choice but to recreate it in the confines of my kitchen. Last week, as the object of my consideration became an obsession, it became a tentative item on the week’s dinner menu. Though I was eager to undertake Mission Bacon Dog, there were details that needed to be sorted out, for instance: What variety of frank would be the best? How thick did the bacon it would be draped in be? Also, what garnishes should top it? In LA it was a veritable Mexican parranda, with guacamole, grilled jalapeños, and sautéed onions and peppers, but did I want a different, more personalized theme?

I started researching garnishes and was in the midst of studying homemade pickling, when suddenly, at 6:00pm on Wednesday last week, my ruminations came to a jaw-grinding halt: I discovered there was no Spanish chorizo to be had at Whole Foods. Spanish chorizo was the key ingredient in the recipe I’d intended for dinner, and without it, I had nothing.

Plan B-less, I looked around in a panic. It was getting late, the after-work crowd had descended, Señor O was growing irritable, and though I kept pressing myself into the corner of a cereal display, shoppers trying to squeeze past were giving me the stink eye. I kept staring at the bins of salami, willing them to transform into the chorizo I needed, but salami they obstinately remained.

I’d had ample opportunity to view the stacks of hot dog packs while on my desperate search for chorizo, and knew all I had to do was reach out and grab one, but truth to tell, I didn’t want that particular Wednesday to be Mission Bacon Dog night because all the variables weren’t in place, but I was between a rock and a hard place – i.e. Señor O’s glare – so I caved in and bought a package of all-natural Wellshire Frank beef hot dogs, a few slices of Whole Foods bacon, and a bag of buns.

Now, another of the questions I’d been pondering was how to keep the bacon in place while the wiener cooked. There were no sticks or strings on the LA one, and I was determined not to cheat. I was concerned, however, because the bacon was a little too thick and a bit raggedy to boot. Also, I’d had to use one-and-a-half slices per sausage because one wasn’t enough to spiral around the whole thing.

I assumed/hoped that the tacky quality of the meats would be enough to adhere them to each other, and to my surprise, the bacon held even after I gently laid two blanketed dogs in the skillet. A mound of onions that I’d set to cook earlier was melting into a caramelized pile while the bacon dogs sizzled and released a deliciously porky aroma.

Everything in its place.

The Mission was going smoothly until I tried to turn the hot dogs; the bacon started to peel off. With the help of tongs and a spatula, I did the best I could to keep the hot dogs clothed, but it they were beyond help. We were starving by this time and the smell of frying bacon and onions was overpowering.

Take it off!

I finished stripping the hot dogs and waited for the whole mess to brown, then I stuffed a hefty helping of the dripping mess into a warm bun and settled down to a dinner that would make those LA vendors proud.

Mission accomplished.

THE BACONATOR

If the title of this blog hasn’t made it abundantly clear, I adore shoes. I actually detest shopping for clothes and hate stores and malls; I get all panic attack-y and claustrophobic, and am convinced there is not sufficient oxygen. But, get me past the perfume spritzers and racks of clothing into the shoe department and it is as if I’ve entered a realm of cherubs and melodious harps.

Grocery shopping releases about the same amount of endorphins and my trips to market are rarely perfunctory outings. I like to slowly zigzag my through, stopping to stare glassy-eyed at the products. Oftentimes I do this purely as research - if I’m reading a recipe I can immediately recall where a particular ingredient is available for purchase, down to it’s location on a shelf.

I like to plan menus and make lists ahead of time so I can purchase all elemental foodstuffs at one go – and also to reduce the risk of becoming distracted and returning home with items I did not in effect, need. Sometimes, though, I venture out there and wander, glassy-eyed and almost dazed, puzzling over what the heck to make for dinner.

It was in this uncertain state of mind that I hooked a basket on my arm at Whole Foods on Saturday. I was there for unsweetened vanilla soy milk, but also to forage for Sunday brunch. There were fiddlehead ferns, bright green and tightly curled like storybook worms (tempura?), tiny artichokes (fried? Steamed and sauced?), leeks (vichyssoise?), but nothing was calling out to me as much as…lettuce. Yes, lettuce, which I consider much less poetic than many of its produce section siblings, was what was beckoning because I remembered that the “L” in BLT stands for LETTUCE. My mind cleared, the torpor vanished, and thoughts raced. I was going to make no ordinary BLT with flimsy bread, bland tomatoes, and waifish bacon strips. I was going to make a sandwich that would require a side of five napkins.

I gathered ripe plum tomatoes, a soft-to-the-touch avocado, a handful of salad greens, and a few slabs of thick-cut bacon from the butcher’s case and ran home to triumphantly announce that tomorrow was going to be no ordinary day.

Sunday morning I set to: I roasted my tomatoes for an hour, doused in olive oil and balsamic vinegar, well-seasoned with kosher salt, fresh-ground pepper, and tossed with a few cloves of smashed garlic. They emerged soft and wrinkled, fragrant and sweet.
The bacon, to avoid a mess in my Lilliputian kitchen, was also baked in the oven, the rendered fat brushed on pain de mie slices.

While the baking was going on, I whipped together some mayonnaise and was ready to assemble: a generous schmear of mayo, avocado slices, bacon, roasted tomatoes, and lettuce. And there it was, a BLT to the –nth power – the baconator.

THE BACONATOR
For 2

MAYONNAISE
1 egg yolk
2 tsps. Dijon mustard
salt + pepper to taste
lemon juice to taste
150 mL (about 2/3 C.) vegetable oil

-Whisk together egg yolk, mustard, and a pinch each salt and pepper.
-In a very slow, steady stream, pour in oil while whisking quickly and vigorously, until all oil in incorporated.
-Season with salt, pepper, and lemon juice to taste.





BACON
5 – 6 slices thick-cut bacon (about ½ lb.)

-Preheat oven to 375˚F.
-Cover a rimmed baking sheet (rims will keep the rendered fat from leaking out) with parchment paper (no wax paper, unless you want to cause a fire) and lay out bacon slices in a single layer.
-Cover with a second sheet of parchment and weigh down with another cookie sheet, Pyrex, or other oven-proof cookware.
-Cook 30 – 45 minutes until bacon fat is rendered and bacon is cooked.
-Set bacon slices on a paper towel-lined dish and pour fat into a bowl. Reserve the baking sheet and first sheet of parchment.


TOMATOES
6 ripe plum tomatoes
¼ C. olive oil
3 TBSP. balsamic vinegar
salt + pepper
4 garlic cloves, peeled and smashed into large chunks

-Preheat oven to 375˚F.
-Core tomatoes and cut in half lengthwise.
-In a medium bowl, toss tomatoes with salt, pepper, olive oil, vinegar, and garlic.
-Spread tomatoes, cut-side up, on a parchment paper-lined rimmed baking sheet or Pyrex and stud with garlic.
-Roast 60 – 75 minutes, till tomatoes are soft to the touch.


ASSEMBLY
4 slices good bread, white or whole wheat
1 ripe avocado
large handful of salad greens
salt and pepper

-Arrange bread slices on reserved bacon baking sheet and brush each with reserved fat. If not sufficient, spread slices with softened butter.
-Toast in a 350˚F until golden.
-Thinly slice avocado and squirt with lemon juice to prevent browning. Season with salt and pepper.
-Wash and spin-dry greens and sprinkle with salt.
-Spread a generous amount of mayo on two of toast slice and top each with avocado slices, bacon, roasted tomatoes, and lettuce. Cover with remaining toast, press down gently, and cut in half before serving.