It was Miss Scarlet, in the kitchen, with a knife.
I exaggerate. It was a lot less fraught than I’m making it out to be. But a live creature was in fact sacrificed and I wielded the weapon: Homarus americanus, aka, lobster. Did I feel bad? I’m sorry to admit that I did not feel an ounce of pity for the thing. I dug in the knife and that was that. Even now I’m thinking back to the moment and I got nothin’. Zip. Zero. Nada.
Anyway, the lobster cooking process was quite the production. I won’t even get into it because it’s ridiculous. It was also ridiculously delicious, but seriously, this is not something you want to try at home. Especially if stabbing something is too dastardly a deed for you to stomach.
Does shucking clams and oysters also count as murder? Because I did some of that, too. I’m a serial killer…
By the way, whomever was the first person to decide you could eat bivalve mollusks must have been famished because it was labor-intense work to pry those little suckers open. I managed a few blue points and two clams and decided that, like homarus up there, they’re better eaten in the comfort of a restaurant. Let someone else do the grunt work I say.
High Heels & Frijoles
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3 comments:
The slideshow was truly inspired! You are, hoever, a cold-blooded fish killer. I saw you cut his cheeks out. Halibut Hannibal.
I think your slideshow needs a soundtrack- I'm thinking crawfish, a french chef and a Little Mermaid...Le Poi-sson, Le Poisson heeheehee hohoho! Love to chop and to serve leetle feesh! First I cut off zeir heads and I pool out zeir bones...Now I stuff you wis bread, it don't hurt 'cause you're dead, and you're certainly lucky you are! 'Cause it's gonna be hot in my big silver pot" Can't remember the whole song, but it went something like that.
SHUT up! You know the lyrics?! I love it. I was going to put them in, but I thought no one would get it. HAHAHAH! "It don't hurt 'cause you're dead, and you're certainly lucky you are..." is my favorite line.
xoxo
i love that song too! ...'cause it's gonna be hot in my big silver pot...'
love your blog by the way, so entertainingly funny, i can just imagine you saying everything.
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